It doesn't feel all that long ago that I was counting down to our wedding, obsessing over how I was going to style the tables, wondering whether the weather would behave and trying to soak up every second of the day because everyone tells you it goes by in a blur.
They were right.
Somehow, that was a whole year ago.
For as long as I can remember, there's been a moment in Friends that has stayed with me. Monica has this realisation that being the bride is only temporary, but being a wife is what truly lasts. Even before I got engaged, that idea stuck with me because, deep down, the goal was never the wedding itself.
The goal was always the marriage.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved planning our wedding. I loved choosing the flowers, styling the tables, seeing all of the little details come together and celebrating with the people we love most.
We were lucky enough to have two very special celebrations. First, our registry office ceremony surrounded by our closest family and my bridesmaids, who are basically family themselves. Then, we had the chance to celebrate with even more of the people who mean the most to us at our party.
Both days were everything I'd hoped they would be, and I'll treasure those memories forever.
But as much as I loved being a bride, the wedding was never the finish line.
The goal was always the marriage.
When people ask me, "How's married life?", I never quite know how to answer.
Not because it's difficult to explain, but because, in many ways, it hasn't changed everything. It has simply made an already wonderful life feel a little more certain.
We were together long before we got married. We'd already navigated buying a home, decorating rooms, everyday routines and all the little moments that make up a relationship. The wedding wasn't the beginning of our story, it was a celebration of the one we'd already been writing.
And honestly? I think that's my favourite part.
Marriage Isn't Made Up of Big Moments
Before getting married, I thought marriage might feel completely different overnight.
Like I'd wake up the next morning and suddenly feel different.
Instead, life carried on much as it always had.
There were still bills to pay, washing to fold, food shopping to do and the eternal question of, "What's for dinner?"
Marriage, I've realised, isn't built on one spectacular day.
It's built on hundreds of wonderfully ordinary ones.
It's picking up your favourite snacks while you're in the supermarket because you know it'll make the other person smile.
It's filling up the car before a road trip without being asked.
It's sitting together in comfortable silence after a long day.
It's laughing over something that nobody else would find remotely funny.
It's knowing exactly which side of the bed the other person wants, who's going to lock the front door at night and who'll inevitably be asking, "Have we packed everything?" before every camping trip.
Those moments don't make the wedding album, but they're the ones that make a marriage.
You Never Stop Learning About Each Other
Even after years together, there are still things that surprise me.
New opinions.
New habits.
New dreams.
Marriage hasn't meant we've stopped growing; it's meant we've had the privilege of growing alongside one another.
I don't think you ever reach a point where you know everything about the person you've married.
And I quite like that.
Love Looks Different Than I Imagined
When I was younger, I probably thought love was all about grand romantic gestures.
Now?
Love often looks like someone filling the car with fuel before a road trip so you don't have to think about it.
It's grabbing your favourite snacks at the petrol station without being asked.
It's making sure the camping chairs are packed because they know you'll forget something eventually.
It's sitting through another conversation about camping gear, kitchen décor or the latest book recommendation because they know it matters to the other person.
It turns out love is often wonderfully practical.
And I think that's even better.
The Wedding Was the Beginning. Marriage Is the Adventure.
Don't get me wrong, I loved our wedding celebrations.
I'd relive both of those days in a heartbeat.
But looking back, I don't think the happiest moments of this past year have only come from those celebrations.
They've come from everything afterwards.
The long drives with a playlist on, debating where to stop for lunch, and somehow always ending up planning the next adventure before the current one is even over.
The camping trips.
The spontaneous days out.
The evenings spent doing absolutely nothing.
Cooking dinner together.
Watching another episode of a series we've somehow become completely invested in.
Making plans for the future.
Building a home that feels like ours.
Those are the moments that have made this first year so special.
Choosing Each Other Every Day
One thing I've come to appreciate is that a happy marriage isn't something that simply happens.
It's made up of countless small choices.
Choosing kindness over being right.
Choosing patience when one of you has had a difficult day.
Choosing to listen before trying to fix things.
Choosing to celebrate each other's successes as though they're your own.
Choosing to laugh when things don't quite go to plan.
None of those moments are particularly glamorous.
But together, they're what build a life.
One Year Later
Looking back now, I think younger me would have been surprised by what I've treasured most.
Not the dress.
Not the flowers.
Not the table styling I'd spent so long perfecting.
Not even the two celebrations we spent surrounded by the people we love most.
It's been the year afterwards.
The camping trips.
The Sunday mornings.
The supermarket runs.
The conversations over dinner.
The quiet evenings on the sofa.
The ordinary moments that don't make it onto Instagram but somehow become the memories you treasure most.
One year later, I can honestly say that younger me was right.
Our wedding celebrations were two of the happiest days of my life, but they were never the goal.
The marriage was.
And every wonderfully ordinary day since has reminded me why.
Matt, thank you for being my favourite person to do life with. Thank you for every adventure, every laugh, every compromise, every spontaneous plan and every ordinary moment that somehow becomes a memory.
Here's to many more years of exploring new places, building our little life together, and continuing to choose each other every day.
Happy first anniversary to us - I'll love you forever.
Molly
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